Responding to infighting and poor activismI would be lying if I said I felt I stand above responding to gossip and harsh comments towards me. I definitely don’t and just have been afraid of the consequences of responding. Besides, I never really pay attention to other activists I’m not directly involved with. But I think with the slander campaign going inwards right now, I don’t want to stay silent.
"[he] knew what he was getting himself into”
There seems to be a group of people who believe that the response to my actions was to be expected. This also seems to come from other ‘out’ activists. They had warned me and I knew what I was getting myself into.
The reality however is: This is a lie. Some of those same people pushed me into several actions and had even planned to join me. They were convinced the Netherlands was the best frontline and that free speech would be defended.
Eventually, in July 2019, after about 12 people chickened out or were backing of because of infighting, I decided to go at it alone. This activity, different from how its portrayed, actually went quite well. By now the message is distorted and people think it was violent and the message was bad and about sex. This is pretty far from the reality.
There was only a hand full of people yelling ‘pig’ AFTER security arrested me.
At this point contact with police and several Mayors was pretty good. There was not much to worry about and I went in preventive hiding for a couple of days because afterwards the message was distorted by Q-Anon conspiracies and MC’s. Oh and of course by Pride Amsterdam.
This action was met with praise from the ‘community’. Suddenly people did want to talk and work with me. But sadly I found myself surrounded by people who were narcissistic, depressed and extremely paranoid. I got sucked in an extremely toxic environment of people that where never going to be able to, or even that willing to, archive something.
Nobody was willing to get a structure or a sense of working side by side. It was about getting a toxic ‘top dog’ and his bitches. A face of the community; with other ‘prominent’ activists influencing that person and a ‘troll’ army.
I got severely demotivated and started making a plan. When I was starting to get convinced nothing was going to chance and I was going to have to do everything myself I was considering quitting, again.
Until I got invited to join the board of the PNVD. It was finally an opportunity to present a broader political plan. People don’t seem to realize that at this point I was already an activist and politically active for 13 years. At that point more than half of my life. PNVD was the 4th political party I joined and the 12th political group.
I’ve had a huge interest in politics since I was 9 and was building on an infrastructure renewal plan since I was 15. And even before that was interested in Human Rights, basic income and anti-theism.
PNVD was the perfect opportunity for a broad political plan, a broad plan for renewal. At the point I was invited the plan was to start a political party, not necessarily restart PNVD.
Political parties fall under different laws than other organizations. This meant we were better protected. I had wanted to go into parliament since I was a child, so I was looking forward to the elections of 2021 and had no idea what governmental violence would face us shortly after. Nobody could have predicted I would be politically imprisoned and tortured. This kind of thing hadn’t happen in more than over half a century.
So in short, not only did they not warn me, until I shut them out, they wanted to join me.
“He panicked and made a poor decision”
When I decided to flee my country I had been in hiding for two weeks, after an arrest warrant was put on me for the possession of gay porn. If I had stayed chances are I would still be imprisoned, or just as likely, I would have been dead.
Even though it was confirmed to the prosecutor’s office by no less than the police that I had not been guilty of illegal possession, there was an international arrest warrant placed and there where illegal investigations. Including bank hacks.
I didn’t panic when I decided to leave everything behind and seek asylum, I made a conscious choice to not be murdered, executed or tortured. If anyone feels betrayed by the fact I choose my safety over everything else, than I’m disappointed I ever called you my friend.
“Alternatives were offered”
I can be short, no realistic or effective alternatives were offered. As we can again see from 3 years of online activists, they couldn’t even make a dent in a pack of butter. No offence, but the cavalry is completely useless without the infantry. Without storm troopers you’re doomed and will never win.
The only other plan I remember besides social media activism, who hasn’t been banned yet? Were child porn organizations. How deluded must you be to think that is the way to go? Producing and spreading CP to show how normal it is? Besides how stupid it is in itself it means you’re sending children to the frontline in an extremely hostile climate, because you’re too scared yourself.
Not to mention it would make the community look very very bad and we’d all end up in prison.
“His ego is more important than activism”
Uh, ok boomer. No really, how? I’m pretty sure I was very conscious of the fact that I would be smeared in and outside of the community. And different from popular believes I’m not interested in leading, or being part of for that matter, of the community. That’s why I decided to go in a broader field of activism. That’s why I’m not afraid to show my ugly sides or weaknesses. If anything I’m an example of someone who’s trying to show his humanity and not put up a mask.
“He’s become scared of talking about pedophilia”
I think it’s a complete misunderstanding that I’ve ever had a major focus on or was scared of the subject. From the start of my activism I have said that I don’t know the answer but that my primary reason for being an activist on this subject is that I believe that status quo, or at least their reasoning is wrong.
I’ve never enjoyed repeating my points for the same audience. I may have had to correct things, but why would I need to repeat myself. To provoke? To show I’m not scared?
I’ll repeat my position on the issue: Everyone deserves the right to full autonomy. Crimes without victims are not crimes. Dogmas should be challenged and science that suggests there could be less suffering by removing laws should always be investigated further.
Published on 30 March 2022.
Published on 30 March 2022.
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